Gussied Up

My phone’s checkin’ itself out in the mirror. Tryin’ to put a little makeup on to cover up the wear and tear. Oh when will Apple release a new iPhone?!?

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Dee-Jay

Hey folks! It’s official! We have a DJ. Once we singed (intentionally corny typo) on the dotted line, he gave us a lot of song-related homework to do. Apparently, every second must be accompanied by a sentimental and significant song. And I shudder at the songs I most connect to us. They will not be appropriate.

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Prince

Harvey and I hung out at home, while Jo went out and rocked it like it was 1999. According to Prince, the best year for rock-and-roll was 1977. That was a good year for a lot of reasons.

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They’re Breeding

There are thousands of these guys around the apartment … at least enough to manage the hair of an army of 80s heavy metal guitarists. I think they’re breeding too. If you leave 2 of the big ones alone for a while, a little guy suddenly appears. Strange.

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Late Night

All is silent in the office tonight. Any moment now there’ll be some tumbleweed and maybe a lone cowboy will round the corner, hand on the butt of his six-shooter, or an alien with a head shaped like a squash asking if I know where to find 8 million rolls of toilet paper … or maybe just the cleaning staff.

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Toilet Paper by the Ton

Jo goes to Costco and returns with 8 million rolls of toilet paper. I ask her where they’ll go and this is her solution – the guest shower. I have very mixed feelings about Costco.

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When Did Pee Become So Exciting?!

For the first time EVER, Harvey left the living room, strolled casually (mosied) to the bathroom and relieved himself on his pee-pad. This was a thrilling development. Jo and I were overjoyed. Pee has never been so exciting.

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